How to know what you actually want

How to know what you actually wantHow to know what you actually wantHave you ever got caught in the in-between of not knowing what you want but knowing that youdontwant what you have? Its the perfect recipe for being totally stuck. And totally lost (the latter of which I wrote an entire book about).When you say that you dont know what you want, its in that moment that its VERY easy to get swayed by shiny, sparkling objects Things thatlook good. Things thatsound good. Things that youshouldwant But things that ultimately dont feel right.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreThey typically dont feel right because youknow, you know deep in your bones that while the outcome should be something that you care about (and maybe even do), the process is not something that brings you any sort of energy or joy. This would be like if someone asked you to write a book that would be on every shelf except that you completely dont find any joy in writing. Or youve got a job offer for that BIG anthroponym company, a job you could do, but you absolutely hate what the day-to-day would entail.Im always in awe of people who can look past all that shines like titles, like optics, like pay days, like prestige, like networks to evaluate if theyd be happy in the moments. And then turn those opportunities down accordingly. Because sparkly outcomes do notdo NOTequal fulfillment. The only thing that will fulfill you is being energized by the process, finding joy in the moments, and experiencing worthiness in the hard work.So if youre looking to understand what you want, look for what process is worth it to you. If you were to take the possibilities of accolades, or recognition, or pay out, or possibility for something great on the back end, what would still be worth doing because youre so about the process of doing it? It doesnt mean that youll love every minute of every day of that proc ess, but youll love it more than you dont.Thats how you know. Thats how you can back into a decision. Thats how you can decide what to research. What to spend your time looking for. What to turn down. What to give yourbig yesto. You probably wont get this right all of the time. You may learn the hard way that all which glitters isnt gold, and the bottom might problematik out on your big shiny goalthats ok. Ive done it. Many times. I might even make that mistake again.HoweverWhen the process of doing something isenough. Rather than having to achieve an intended outcome to make itenough.Youll know youve found exactly what you want.This article originally appeared on Maxie McCoy.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people